Oh Nola, my Darling

What is really good with Nola Darling?  

Spike Lee recently released an original Netflix series of "She's Gotta Have It" and I am here for it!  I'm here for it, because Nola speaks for women like me.  Women who are still learning themselves and what they like in a person.  She speaks for the sexually free woman, or as some double-standard minds would say, promiscuous woman.  But what was different about her, and the stereotypical three timing men some of us have encountered?


She was real about her business.

Her men know where they stood, what she wanted, and they fell in line or left.  Now, of course it is only TV and quite a few aspects may not work as swell in real life.  Such as the season finale.  Oh yes, that season finale!  *SPOILER ALERT* Leave now, if you do not want any parts of a spoiler*

The 3-HEADED MONSTER YAHL, I couldn't help but laugh because I realized just how much sex and women affects a man... and it is amazing to me just how fragile a man's ego can be when it comes to sex and the woman.  We hear all day how us women are jealous, possessive, tripping, or full of drama; yet men do the same things.  You mean to tell me that it takes a Black Feminist show to get your attention?  Or are we still in the place of being "lady-like?"

I know there is more to Nola Darling no doubt, but at this time of her life at the age of 27; she is on track to figuring it out.  On her journey of figuring it out, there are 4 lovers mixed in her web of honesty, love, sex and intimacy.  Each one of these lovers give her something different.  One gives laughter and fun, another gives a sense of stability and support, another feeds her ego slightly, and the last provides the intimacy and growth she so desperately craves.   

I tried living Nola's life before, but the men in my life were not having it.  I would joke about the  Poly-amorous lifestyle to see how they would feel about me seeing other people.  What it all boiled down to was, they were ok with living that life I couldn't.  If I was going to be their's I was going to be their's.  

But neither one of them were paying my bills.  

And like Nola Darling, I learned later in my life that I was not down with lowering myself and needs to appease and speak to the fragility of the man's ego.  Because it is fragile.  And that's why we needed the 3-Headed Monster to appear.  In this same episode she showed a moment of freedom.  She was breaking free from the confinement of the "Little Black Dress."  The dress she used as a test with the men in her life.  The dress that revealed just how much men sought to "own" a piece of the woman.  The little black dress is ok if he sees it, but not other people.  What if I like what I see?  What if I wore it to turn myself on?  What if I DON'T CARE?  Dear men, everything we do is not for someone else. 

"If I didn't define myself, for myself...-" Nola Darling


But then we have the fourth lover... The mystery

The one she had a deep connection with... just so happened to be a woman.  I've never been in a relationship with a woman, but I can see how she finds deeper intimacy with Opal.  Opal gave her boundaries, passion, excitement, and intimacy.  Opal seemed to have everything she wanted in the 3-men; accept a penis.  When I look at my closest life relationships, they are all with women.  For some reason, women and men both seem to connect with the same sex more... your bestfriends are usually the same sex as you.

This part threw me for a loop, because if you ask my friends they would tell you... my ultimate fear is a "down low man."  After watching this, I now see how down-low applies to Ms. Darling as well.  Am I a hypocrite?? Or am I sensing some underlying mommy and daddy issues under the surface?  I mean she gets everything from her lovers, that she wanted from her parents.

I'm just here to see Season 2.  What are your thoughts?!