The loss of a loved one can become motivation to live

There’s something about life after death that we do not talk about enough.  I’m not talking about the belief of our loved ones going to heaven once they depart, to live a life of peace and harmony.  I’m talking about the life that is left for their loved ones who grieve the missing link to their life. Its not always a bad scenario.  Yes, we hurt and cry, but its something about death that pushes us to better ourselves and take advantage of opportunities around us.

6 months ago, to this day, I lost my best-friend and love of my life.  No joke, I had her name tattooed on my body, on my 18th birthday, because I wanted her to know that the love and appreciation was real.  She had always been my guardian angel walking the earth with a smile bright enough to grow a field of daisies. Yup, that was my granny; my mama.

As hurt as I am over her earthly departure, I can’t help but look at how my life has changed in just 6 months of her being gone. I’ve had more development in the past 6 months than the last year combined.  Although, it hurts that I can’t call and talk to her about my excitement; I honestly feel like she is interceding on my behalf.

Last night, during a conversation with my auntie, she said something that stayed with me overnight.  She told me, “You know what Monica, if your grandmother was still alive you wouldn’t dare consider moving to Ghana!”  As crazy as it sounds, that is beyond true. It took me 10 years to FINALLY move south of the Mason-Dixon line. I never wanted to be too far away from home, in case something ever happened. So, the thought of me marrying and moving to another country would have been unheard of!

But, look at me now.  

It's something about her death that has pushed me to grow outside of my comfort zone. I finally launched my fingernail polish line, LOL Nail Lacquer, that I have been OBSESSING over for the last 7 years. I finally opened my heart to the full potential of love. I finally overcame a major obstacle with my professional research goals. I’m finally releasing my next book that forces me to show more of myself. I’m walking in my truth and the fear is no longer.

The same goes for you.

When something bad happens, it can be easy for us to get stuck looking at the negatives that have come along with the issue.  But, there is always beauty found in our sorrow. I’m not saying we shouldn’t mourn our loss: I’d be a hypocrite if I did. What I am saying is that once the last tear falls, allow yourself to take advantage of the life you still have in your body.  

Why wait for tomorrow to do what you can do today?

Let’s honor our loved ones by choosing to live once their time has expired.  A large part of me believes that our loved ones are on the other side interceding for us, even when we can’t see the way out by ourselves.  The thought of them forces us to improve our boundaries in our everyday lives. We allow ourselves to value our time and how we spend it differently.  Life is limited and it is on us to make it count. Especially, after the loss of a loved one.  

From one broken heart to another; just keep going.

Who am I? I am an author, publishing consultant, educator, nail polish creator, and doctoral student. In the midst of these various roles, I have been given the opportunity to experience life and enjoy each moment. My experiences pushed me to begin sharing not only my story, but others as well. Life is an interesting ride, and I believe we are able to use our words, in writing and speech, to heal various aspects of the world. Words have power, words inspire, and words incite action. What’s most important, is that everyone has a voice and a distinct purpose.

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Sometimes, a lifestyle change is all we need...

Never in a million years had I thought I’d see the day I’d consider giving up my beloved curry chicken! But, here I am now, chronicling my experience of cutting meat out of my diet for the last 30 days. Before I go further, I will be honest and say; I ate a WHOLE small sized pepperoni pizza as a cheat day smh (and regretted it the next day).

So what made me consider changing my food options?

About a year and a half ago I started going through different health problems with my digestive system and internal bleeding. I had to get regular doctor checks, colonoscopies, and they even strongly suggested a stomach scope. I was over procedures at this point so I declined. I honestly said forget it and just started doing what I wanted to do. I WAS OVER IT!

So up until a month ago, I literally just lived with the constant pains that came after eating certain foods and the random bleeding and bloating here and there; until my trip to Ghana.

During my trip to Ghana I realized how fresh and pure their fruit and food was, from the pineapples to the tilapia, it looked different and tasted different. During our time there I barely ate meat; maybe only once. Something about my diet there felt clean and light. I didn’t have bloating problems, no bleeding, and I lost about 12 pounds. Upon returning home, my first meal was a salad with grilled chicken. When I tell you MY STOMACH CUT UP, that is an understatement.

I honestly felt sick.

I sat and thought about what was different… Then it hit me… THE CHICKEN! Honestly, most of our foods have so many hormones pumped into them (the ‘organic’ ones too, sorry) that they have different reactions to our bodies. During a conversation with a good friend of mine, we made an agreement to become Pescatarian together and see how it effected our bodies. Well, here we are 30 days later, and I must say that was a great decision!

In the last 30 days, my digestive system has been regular, my blood pressure is lower, my bleeding has slowed down, my tummy doesn’t bloat after eating, AND I lost another 5 pounds! I was looking at some raw chicken the other day and almost got sick. Nothing about it was appetizing to me, and I realized I didn’t really miss it.

It’s my goal over these next 30 days to incorporate more organic fruit (even though our fruit here is still modified), do a daily homemade smoothie, cut out more fried foods, cut out more dairy products, and incorporate more variety with my meals. Making this change was to see how it affected my life, and I must say it has been a positive.

For those of you who may be going through high blood pressure, digestive issues, bloating, etc. this just may be the lifestyle change for you! I’d strongly suggest cutting out some of the meat in your diet. You don’t have to go cold turkey, but maybe try to eat it only a couple times a week to try it out.

This is totally a lifestyle change that I plan to keep up!

If you haven’t already, check out some of my past lifestyle blogs HERE! Also, don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE TO MY PAGE.