I have a confession...
After multiple sexual assaults, emotional abuse, and physical neglect, I was seriously depressed by the time I hit high school….
I have a confession…
If it wasn’t for therapy, I wouldn’t be alive today. Between the years of 2005-2009 I had active thoughts of suicide, and attempted in 2005 by the way of medication overdose.
I woke up crying; It failed...
To this day, I dread taking medication and try more holistic approaches before popping a pill. I hadn’t realized how much I had been affected by the various forms of trauma I’d been exposed to, all by the age of 13. After multiple sexual assaults, emotional abuse, and physical neglect, I was seriously depressed by the time I hit high school.
I hid it well...
Behind the smiles, laughs, and humor that seemed to keep people laughing; I hated my life. Do you know what it feels like to spend most of your life feeling lonely? Although I moved with my dad, escaping the trauma and hurt of years before, I was more depressed than before.
I went to a school where I had no relatives… honestly, I am the cousin in the family that had no one in her age range near. I tried to cling to my older cousins and “play cousins” but it always felt like they didn’t want me around. If it wasn’t for my best friend Monica, I honestly don’t know how I would’ve transitioned. We had known each other for years, because her family stayed around the corner from my grandma. Whenever I went to visit my dad in the summers and holidays we would play, ride our bikes, etc.
It was very hard. I felt rejected. I felt lonely. I felt unworthy.
I’m crying as I write this, because I’ve only shared my story in snippets with different people… The only person with the full story, is my therapist back in Michigan. Vulnerability is hard. It is still something I battle with completely, even though I’ve become much better at it. It can be difficult for many people to share their story because of fear of being labeled or rejected. My personal fear, was/is that some people will now forever “label me” and many assumptions will follow. I no longer care.
Turning 30 has changed my entire perspective of life.
The hardest part about transitioning from the place of “victim” to “survivor” is acknowledging your personal truth and allowing it to grow you. I am no longer suicidal, but I believe therapy is something important to keep as a preventative of breaking down. If you feel you need someone; I am here to listen… but pleeeeease….
Don’t be afraid to go to therapy. It can save a life.
THE WAIT IS OVER: They Never Told!
The wait is officially over!
"They Never Told" Pre-Orders have officially been released to the public! I'm very excited, with a hint of nervousness, to share with you this journey of 4 adults who are survivors of childhood sexual assault. None of the assaults were reported to the police/authorities for various reasons; this is a truth that many youth and adults have lived throughout history and present. Research says about 2/3 of sexual assaults go un-reported; I wonder why??
Pre-reader "Man, that was an emotional read. I love how you really broke it down in part 2. I pray that this book is read by many many many people. The world needs this!" - N.M
In They Never Told, you will be connected to the journey of 4 adults through the use of anecdotes and stories of their journey. In the 2nd half of the book you will be challenged to look at behaviors you may possess, that can either positively or negatively affect you having a trusting relationship with the youth in your life. How would you self-rate yourself? They Never Told, is for parents, social service professionals, and other adults who interact with youth daily. Order your copy here!
Pre-reader: "This book is amazing!!!! I just started and I can't put it down." - M.B
The goal of They Never Told, is to reach the heart of the issue, and see what we as people may be doing, that is keeping our children silent. With over 66% of sexual assaults going un-reported; it only makes you wonder how many of those are from repeat offenders? "What ifs" get us nowhere, so what can we do to change the narrative for the future? Grab your copy here!
Pre-reader: "I FEEL SO CONNECTED TO YOU AND THAT'S WHAT A GOOD BOOK IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU FEEL... I'm living in my truth with you! You are giving me strength to know everything will be ok. I am not alone on this journey." - N.G.