Last Night I Cried

Last night I cried….

I tossed and turned as I cried the tears of a thousand wounded souls. I hadn’t realized how many emotions had been pinned up inside as I moved along my day to day routines. By keeping busy physically I neglected my emotional being. All it took was one thing and the volcano erupted. I cried until my head pounded so hard that my brain’s imprint was left on my forehead… at least that’s how it felt.

I was tired….

I was tired of giving all of me away with no one available to help refill when I needed. I was tired of making excuses for the inaction of someone else. I was tired of working around the clock and feeling alone. I was tired of explaining myself to others as to why I shut out the world at times. I was tired of feeling misunderstood, less than, and second-hand. I was tired of a never-ending to-do list. I was tired of disappointment. I was tired of simply being. I was tired of being tired of everything I’ve yet to tell my therapist.

Sometimes, all we need is a good cry…

There’s something refreshing about a full blown cry that turns your eyes red as fire with your heart marching a hundred steps a minute and enough tears dropping to water a field of lilies. Sometimes it’s needed to find balance within your internal being. It brings you back to reality as you pinpoint areas you need to address and change where necessary. Crying does not make you weak; It makes you aware. Awareness paves the way for preparedness. Preparedness is the pre-requisite for peace and prosperity.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but “Cry your heart out tonight, so you can get back up tomorrow with the sun.”

Are your strengths a weakness?

Have you ever wondered how you may have different relationships with different people or how you excel in certain areas more than others? This is something we are not often taught to look at within ourselves. How is it that you can be the same person in all situations and each situation can end differently?

It’s actually pretty simple…

Our strengths can also be viewed as a weakness, depending on the context. For example, I can be seen as a free spirited, sometimes loud and feisty, control freak (depending on who is speaking on me). Many would also consider me a deep empath, while others would take this as being insecure. These are all actually strengths of mine when it comes to building a business, setting goals and reaching them, intuitive understanding, and excelling academically/professionally. Unfortunately, these same characteristics can be viewed as a negative to others who do not fit the same context.

I’m sure you can relate….

Have you ever been told you’re too emotional, too quiet, or selfish? Hearing these things from people can sometimes hurt, definitely when it’s from someone close to us. It can hurt so bad that we consider changing those very things that are strengths in other areas of our life. In some areas we can safely turn into a chameleon and adjust to the setting. For example,

Just don’t compromise your core…

Whatever you do, be confident in yourself and what you offer this world. Think long and hard before you push to change pieces of yourself to fit a social context. When we change solely for someone else, we are doing ourselves an injustice which can lead to anxiety problems and depression. Personally, I am still working on that whole “time and place for everything” saying. shrug

Just be you…

Those who love you and seek to understand you won’t try to change you; they will ask questions before assuming. With that open communication you can find the middle ground of what works for you both. If they aren’t willing? Honestly, I say forget it and keep doing you. shrug We have one life to live, and we will never be happy disguising our true selves to appease another.

So, here’s to accepting those strengths, acknowledging their limitations, and seeking to understand others as well!

~Moe

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