Broken Friendships
The reality is, we should be judging our familial, platonic, and romantic relationships through the same lens and standards. Once we start doing that, we will notice that alot of relationships weren’t really as they seemed.
Can friendships and relationships really be healed after betrayal? Is there a limit to how far a friendship can fall below the point of no return?
It has always baffled me to see how many times women can forgive a man who hurt them, yet cut off a friend from a minut discrepancy.
Now, some things do call for immediate dismissal, such as sleeping with your man, spreading ill will about you, and stealing for example. But what about a misunderstanding? An argument? A difference of opinion?
I’ve been cast away from people from disagreements and difference of opinion who have stayed with a man after continuously being disrespected and cheated on. I’ve even lost a friend for giving friendly advise about a bad situation.
Many would say that those weren’t real friends and others would simply call a spade a spade. Ladies, we have alot of inner work to do when it comes to healing the various relationships in our lives. Our platonic friendships are just as important as our romantic relationships.
The reality is, we should be judging our familial, platonic, and romantic relationships through the same lens and standards. Once we start doing that, we will notice that alot of relationships weren’t really as they seemed.
It was when I reached the point in my life when I wasn’t afraid to be alone that I had no issue with saying goodbye to WHOEVER didn’t reach the standard. I don’t regret it one bit. I don’t have friends to gossip with, a man to argue with, or a family member to talk down on me. I don’t have to worry about who is real or fake because everyone’s loyalty is measured with the same measuring stick. If you don’t make the cut, you don’t make the cut.
The important thing is that when you get ready to make cuts, make sure the standards you are judging them against relate to your HEALED standards of self and not your BROKEN self. There is a difference.
Sometimes, losing is a blessing... crazy right?
It wasn’t until later in life when I realized that all of those rejections were meant to give me tough skin for the work I was meant to do.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought something was wrong with you because you kept losing? Now, if you’re anything like me and in my village, I’m sure your hand shot up just like mine. There have been times when I found myself sitting in the middle of the floor, in the dark, crying my eyes out because nothing seemed to work in my life.
From relationships to friendships, it felt like something was wrong with me because I seemed to always keep losing. I kept getting played by men. My businesses felt like they were continuously failing. The people around me all felt undependable. It just felt like I was missing out on so much.
It wasn’t until later in life when I realized that all of those rejections were meant to give me tough skin for the work I was meant to do. Me not getting what I thought I wanted was a blessing because it taught me lessons, I’d eventually need. It was like I took the long way home as I experienced different types of people along the journey.
You ever take a moment and look back at that person you had a crush on in High School? Nine times out of ten they look NOTHING like what they did in High School when you planned your futures out together. That’s a reminder to us that what we see is not always what we get or even really need… only time can show most things.
Let this serve as a reminder that whatever you have recently “lost” or been given the short end of the stick with wasn’t really the best available for you. Keep pushing and sharing your story, there’s someone who needs to hear it.